We finished packing tonight for the trip. That means we loaded everything into our suitcases, measured them to make sure we are within the physical size requirements of the airlines (62 linear inches, BTW) and then had to weigh them. The big bags have to be under 50 lbs. each.
How do you weigh a suitcase? I tried to just put the suitcase on the scale. When I did, however, I couldn't read the number. So I had to do it the other way.
You know. The one where you weigh yourself first and then weigh yourself holding the suitcase and do the math.
Urgh.
My new number to think about is 20. I'm up 20 pounds from my previous normal weight.
And that sucks.
Truth? I feel it. I feel all of it. I feel it in my thighs. In my stomach. In the tightness of my clothes. In the self-consciousness of my shirt tugging.
In my boobs. (That might be the only "good" thing.)
I also feel defeated.
I no longer feel invincible. I no longer feel strong, in control and confident.
It's time to get real. Be honest. Walk the walk. Stop acting like exercise allows me to eat whatever I want, whenever I want.
I have to live the life that gets me the life I want.
Does that make sense? It's up to me.
1 comment:
20 is my number too! I completely agree with you. I still eat junk, but since I'm more active I think it is okay. It's not. I love your blog, found it because my dog ate wasabi peas and I googled it out of concern. Enjoy your trip!
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