Unexpected Downside of Being Thinner #9

Everyone comments on what you eat.

I know they probably don't mean anything bad by it. But it gets tiresome to 1) have to address it and 2) feel like you need to defend vegetables.

Unexpected Benefit of Being Thinner #11

Hugging is better. Much better.

You can get so much closer and your significant other can wrap you up so much more completely.

I'm Not Heavy, I'm Your Laptop

Like most mornings, today started with me schlepping my computer bag into work. It was loaded with my laptop, power cords, assorted files, notebook, pens, clutch purse ... and this Tuesday, it also happened to contain two bags of candy to replenish Craig's stash of Tootsie Rolls and chocolate eggs.

The bag is a black patent leathertte dealio, pressed with a crock pattern. It has two handles that sling over my shoulder, wider at the base than the top. In other words, from far away it looks a smidge stylish. Up close, it's clearly a department store bargain.

The whole kit-and-kaboodle weighs less than 20 pounds.

As I hiked across the parking lot, almost getting winded, I couldn't help but think that a year ago, I was dragging that 20 pounds, plus 65 more, everywhere I went. And, sometimes I was carrying that damn computer bag, too.

I can't even get my head around that right now.

Anyone who's carrying that much extra weight around every day, all day long, is strong. Allowing yourself to carry less, by losing some, is so much easier than continuing to lug it around.

I keep thinking about this couple that came to the fitness center at the hotel the last two days of my vacation. The gentleman was big. Like 350 pounds big if I had to guess. And he came in both days to walk. He didn't walk fast. He didn't walk for a long time. But he was in there walking. The effort he was expending to do what he did was so much more than what I was putting forth to walk faster and farther. The courage it took for him to simply go into the fitness center was so much more than I had at my heaviest.

In other words, being thinner is a LOT of work. But it's so much easier than getting bigger.

I promise.

Picture This

Today was a crappy eating day. I had an all-day meeting that started with donuts (which I avoided), moved into an Italian carb-fest lunch and featured candy galore throughout. On top of that, I drank four Diet Cokes.

By the time I got home, I had literally been eating for eight straight hours and figured the day was shot. So ... I continued eating with raw veggies, a pork taco, grapes, cherry tomatoes and mozzarella salad and fresh fruit. Nothing horrible, just a LOT of it.

Jim got home and wanted to hit the basement to hang more drywall. I offered to help, thinking this would be a way to get away from the refrigerator. I figured I could turn it into a workout somehow.

Now, I need you to picture this in your mind's eye. When I got home from work, I had put on my pj's. They're like long johns. Waffle weave. Red top, gray bottoms with red and white flowers. And I have on brown socks. I add my new "high-heeled," butt-sculpting tennis shoes to get the most bang for my buck.

It's definitely a look.

My job in the drywall process is to work the drywall lift, tell Jim if he's going to hit the stud with the screw gun and question everything he's doing. Jim's job is to climb up and down the ladder 500 times, measure and cut, operate the screw gun and assure me that he's doing everything right.

In between my responsibilities, there's a lot of time to kill. So I start marching around the basement in an effort to burn some of those extra carb calories. Jim shakes his head. Then I find hand weights and add that to my repertoire. Now I'm marching and performing my version of bad 1980's aerobics as Jim hustles up and down the ladder.

He's working. I'm talking and exercising. Making up new moves and watching my reflection in the patio doors. Knees higher! Bicep curls! Toe touches! Punch it out! Dancing to music that's playing only in my head!

He finally looks at me, laughs, and and says, "THAT is why I love you."

(And, for the record, on top of all the marching, I got a mile in on the treadmill, along with bench presses and a good upper body workout. So I looked like a dork ... so what? Not the first time that's happened and it won't be the last.)

Didn't Jennifer Hudson's Oscar Dress Rock?

Did you see it?

If I had lost a whole bunch of weight in the past year and had to go to the Oscar's, that orangey-red, plunging, fitted, atypical Versace number would have been EXACTLY what I would have picked.

If you're having some success ... even if it's not as much as Jennifer Hudson ...

Flaunt it. Celebrate. You earned it.

Unexpected Benefit of Being Thinner #10

All of your clothes can get tossed in the dryer without fear of anything shrinking.

In fact, some things need the dryer to shrink a little.

Good Point

One of our blog friends passed on a quote from volleyballer/model Gabrielle Reece a while ago. I can't find the exact words, but it went something like this:

"Exercise is like going to work. Some days you just don't want to go. But you do it anyway."

I like that.

You work because you have to pay your bills and feed your family and every now and then buy a gift for a loved one and go on vacation.

You exercise because you want to be healthy and live a long time and every now and then catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror that looks good and thrills your husband.

Sometimes I think people believe they have to be inspired or motivated to exercise. I no longer think that's true. Exercise is just a required part of your day ... like eating and pooping and breathing.

You know it's the right thing to do. So you do it.

Go do it.

Refrigerator Remorse

Back in post "Staples Save the Skinny" from November , I said a key to successful eating was to always have something decent in the fridge so when you get home late or are rushed, you still have great options on hand.

What a good rule.

And I broke it tonight.

We haven't grocery shopped since vacation. You know what that means ... no fresh vegetables or fruit to be found. Anywhere. It was OK for the first couple of days because I had some steamer bags of broccoli and peas in the freezer. Last night was Subway.

Tonight was a problem.

So I paired fake scrambled eggs with spicy chicken sausage. And then added some frozen hash browns. Ugh. Not a single, green, healthy thing in that.

It tasted OK. Pretty good, actually. But it's wrong. I swear I'm making time for the grocery store tomorrow.

Not Even Close to 6"

Stopped at Subway on the way home to pick up supper. I ordered Jim a foot-long so he could have half tonight and then take half for lunch tomorrow. For me, a 6" veggie with cheese in an effort to be good.

What I got was, maybe, 4" of hard, dried out wheat with anemic pink tomatoes and wilted lettuce.

Someone else got a nice 8" sandwich. At noon, if I had to guess. It was probably a double meat Philly cheesesteak, too. And you know the guy ordered extra mayo.

Everything my poor, pathetic, veggie stuffed crouton was not.

Funny how downright possessed you get about 2" when the highlight of your eating day is an already-sort-of-sad veggie sub on whole wheat. Every bite counts.

My Favorite Vacation Food

There was so much good stuff to eat. Here are a couple of my favorites and how I think you might make them.

As you know, I'm not exactly a chef. So I'm guessing at ingredients. And since we haven't yet been grocery shopping ... and are therefore eating weird combinations of things from the freezer so far this week ... I haven't had a chance to make them to experiment. But cooking is just trial and error, so I figure I'll get you part of the way there and you can taste your way to your own recipe.

Caprese Salad
Cherry tomatoes, halved
Mozzarella or Mexican panela cheese, cubed
Olive oil
Dried Mexican oregano
Fresh or dried basil
Salt and pepper to taste

Zucchini Salad
Zucchini, cubed
Fresh mozzarella or Mexican panela cheese, cubed
Baby corn
Olive oil or canola oil
Oregano
Basil
Salt and pepper to taste

Watermelon Con Chile
Sliced watermelon
Dust with Chile powder

Cantaloupe and Goat Cheese
Cantaloupe
Goat cheese
Cracker or toast or thin piece of ham

Wrap or pile. Eat.

Shrimp Ceviche
Here's a recipe from Allrecipes.com that looks similar to what I had. I think mine did not have avocado and might have included a firm, white fish instead. It was like pico de gallo with shrimp in it. Good to dip chips in or on its own.

http://allrecipes.com//Recipe/joses-shrimp-ceviche/Detail.aspx

Pan de Chocolate
Frozen puff pastry
Dove dark chocolate
Egg wash

Cut puff pastry into squares. Roll a piece of dark chocolate inside of it. Brush tops with egg wash. Bake according to package directions. Indulge.

Bikini Bravado

I DID IT!

I wore the damn bikini.

I wore it two different days. I wore it on the beach and by the pool. I wore it in the water at the swim-up bar. I wore it without a cover-up as I strutted, well walked really, across the pool deck to my room.

And it was FUN.

But not at first. Let me set the scene.

I picked Tuesday as Bikini Day. I'd had two days to scout the bikini situation and I knew that there were bodies less bikini-perfect than mine that were completely comfortable letting it all hang out. I told Jim Monday night I was going to do it. He assured me it would be fine.

I woke up, put it on and then stood in front of the full-length mirror for approximately 20 minutes, trying to get the courage mustered to leave my room. "Are you sure this is going to be OK?" I asked Jim. "Are you SURE?" He reassured me there was nothing to worry about.

I broke into a cold sweat as we headed toward the beach, with the cover-up still on, mind you. Jim kept telling me to relax. And I held onto him for dear life, while I tried to explain how completely terrifying this was for me.

We got to the beach, found two chairs, spread out our towels, reached into the beach bag for the sunscreen and then ...

The cover-up had to come off. So, I peeled it off, as self-conscious as they come.

And ...

Nothing happened. No one laughed. No one gagged. No one even noticed.

The nearby volleyball game continued without disruption. The waiter came and asked us for our drink order. The sun shone, the wind blew and the birds flew overhead.

Weird, huh?

And the longer I stayed there, the more I WANTED someone to notice. I wanted someone to say, "Nice rack." Or at the very least, I wanted to catch someone sneaking a glimpse of my lady bits.

Weird again, huh?

So I got braver. Wore it to the pool the next day. Walked around the pool while eating an apple. (Eating while in a bikini?! Good Lord. That's such a bizarre concept I can't even explain it.) Got in the water. Climbed up the pool ladder to get out. And, again, nothing.

Jim finally asked me what the big deal was. I tried to explain how it used to feel to not want anyone to notice you at all, ever, for any reason. And how big a mental leap it is to be able to put your whole self on display. I'm not sure he gets it entirely. I'm not sure I do, to be honest.

But two days was all she wrote. Why? Because a woman I've known for 20 years, who worked with me at my part-time high school/college job, and who is now the loan officer at my bank showed up with her husband and two other couples from my hometown.

Six degrees of Kevin Bacon my ass. Half of you know her. That's one degree or two at best. And as promised in the Bikini Blunder post, no one THAT close will ever see me sporting the two-piece. I got braver. But not that brave.

Igualito, Tito!

(That's "Even, Steven!" en Espanol, per my in-house expert translator.)

What a pleasant surprise as I stepped on the scale this morning, fully prepared for a 7-10 pound gain, but hoping for nothing more than a 4-5 pound addition. Prepare for the worst, expect the best, as they say.

I weighed exactly the same as I did the morning I left. Down to the tenth of a pound. There IS a God.

I'm not entirely sure how that happened. But I'm taking it and running with it. And being very grateful to this machine that is my new body. It didn't let me down. I didn't let me down.

Trust me, I ate. I ate a lot compared to what I normally eat. I ate three solid meals a day. I ate dinner late at night. I ate three courses, at minimum, at dinner. I had eggs, cheese and fruit nearly every morning for breakfast. I snacked ... sometimes with an apple, sometimes with an ice cream cone and sometimes with pico de gallo and chips. I had beef two times. I had pork three times. I always made more than one trip to the buffet.

And I drank. Never enough to get plowed, but I imbibed in adult beverages every day. Usually at least one before noon. I sucked down my fair share of those fruity, blended, full-of-empty-sugar-calorie things in big glasses with straws.

But I balanced all that with this:

• I skipped workouts the first two days, but walked 4 miles each morning on a treadmill in a very hot (as in temperature, not as in cool) fitness center.
• I drank a lot of Diet Coke and mineral water with lime.
• I made sure return trips to the buffet were heavy on the fresh fruit and vegetables.
• If I ordered something completely decadent, like lobster and shrimp risotto in a creamy, cheesy white wine sauce, I only ate about 2/3 of it, satisfying my desire to taste it and maintaining my sense of portion.
• I watched my carbs and didn't waste calories on something as pedestrian as toast or pasta.
• And while I may have tried one of essentially everything, I only ate ONE. This proved especially difficult with those delicious pan de chocolate pastries. You know the ones, buttery, flaky goodness wrapped around dark chocolate ... for BREAKFAST!
• Plus, I convinced Jim that walks along the beach were a good way to keep me cheerful. And our off-resort excursions were heavy on "activity." We walked through the ruins of Tulum and climbed down from the cliff it sits on to the beautiful beach below. We paddled intertubes down the waterways of Xel-Ha against the wind. (That was more of a workout than anticipated!) We climbed to the tops of 14 zip-line towers to enjoy 40-80 second rides down the cables, strapped in harnesses. (And I didn't have to be embarrased by being asked to step out of the standard harness donning line to get fitted for the "big girl" version.)

Today it was back to my normal routine. Bagel Thin and peanut butter for breakfast. Raw veggies and hard boiled egg whites for lunch. Baked chicken, steamed broccoli and brown rice with a little pesto for dinner. And something tells me I'll weigh more tomorrow than today. But that's OK.

I didn't gain 10 lbs. on vacation.

Maybe this new way of life is going to stick afterall.

Back to Reality

Vaca is over. The tan is pretty decent. My clothes still all fit, though I haven't stepped on the scale.

And, to be perfectly honest with you, the biggest surprise to me is that I'm truly sick and tired of eating and drinking.

It's not like I went overboard on either. But I had my fair share of fruity blended drinks and indulged in a dessert or 10. But I'm just tired of the constant variety and process of getting ready to head to a restaurant, ordering, and eating.

It also doesn't hurt that I managed to get a bad stomach on the plane ride home. Today's two cans of Sprite, two pretzels and one bowl of cereal have been more than enough and the thought of eating anything else grosses me out.

The scale will tell me tomorrow a.m. And then I'll tell you.

Dear Dr. Kidd ...

We're, ah, living a little, as you have suggested. The good news is that the eating is accompanied by muchas actividados. In addition to squeezing a couple of workouts in, even Jim, our excursions have brought a lot of walking and climbing and paddling.

And, the bikini has made her debut. Not only did she go in the pool, but she carried me all the way to my room and back sans cover-up. More about that later.

Hope YOUR week is going well.

Hasta la Vista, Reader Babies!

Suitcases packed? Check.
Dog at dog sitters? Check.
House sitter scheduled? Check.
Alarm set? Tomorrow a.m. will be Check.
Husband irritated with my fretting? Check.

Hope you have a great week.