Ketchup, Sugar Packets, Dirty Napkin ... Whatever It Takes

I have a problem with self-control. Especially when it comes to food.

If there's food in my line of vision, I eat it. Remember that old joke ... "I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it!"

Hardee, har, har. Funny, but true for me.

My lack of self-control has led me to make changes in my lifestyle in an effort to avoid overeating. I don't buy potato chips, because I cannot have a bag sit in the pantry without "sneaking" a handful or two a day. I don't bring home a bag of Twizzlers, because I cannot limit myself to "one a day." I don't keep tater tots on hand because I will totally eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I have the same problem in restaurants. We all know that most restaurant meals are enough to feed at least two people, both from a volume and calorie perspective. Portions are enormous!

(And that's why I LOVE places that put calorie counts on the menu and cannot wait for it to be mandated by law everywhere! Spare me the "Big Brother" argument. I have a right to know what I'm putting in my body. You don't want to know? Don't look. But I digress.)

The experts say to ask for a to-go box before you start eating, put half of your meal in it, and happily enjoy the remaining half. That always makes me feel like a knob ... like I'm drawing attention to myself and asking my dining companions to congratulate me on making a big deal about my healthier-than-theirs choices.

Another option would be to just eat half, then ask for the to-go box and put the remaining half in it. There are two problems with that for me. First, some things just aren't going to be good as leftovers, so you don't bother asking for the box. And second, sometimes it takes a while for the box to come. In either scenario, I end up with food I like, sitting on a plate in front of me and there's nothing else to do but eat it.

So I do. I eat it. All of it. I mindlessly pick at it as my dining companions are finishing their own meals. I take "just one more bite"  ... a half dozen times. Until it's all gone. Even when I don't intend to or want to.

Because I have no self control.

So this is my solution: I ruin it.

When I get to the place where it's time to stop eating, and while I'm still thinking clearly, I make a conscious decision to stop shoveling food in my pie hole.

And I wreck the rest of the food on my plate.

I open a pack of ketchup and squirt it over the pancake. Or I open a packet of sugar and dump it on the burger. Or I drop my napkin on the floor, then pick it up and spread it over the remnants of my meal. Or I stack up dirty dishes/utensils/etc. on my plate.

Sabotage, at my own hand. To prevent my hand going to my mouth.

It works.