What You Learn In a Hospital

Sorry for my absence. I spent the past few days with a family member who is in ICU. After a couple of shaky days and a downright scary morning yesterday, things seem to be headed in the right direction now ... knock on wood.

I had a great deal of time to think in the wee hours of darkness. Here's what I thought about. (Well, some of it. Goodness knows you don't want to know all that goes on in this head!)

1. Healthy = Movement. You cannot be healthy without moving. Your body needs to move because there is much danger in being still. Lungs fill up with fluid. Kidneys don't function. Muscles disintegrate.

2. Prior Movement = Prolonged Wellness. Hard work and a fit body serve you well into old age. They give you the foundation to fight the things that come with your "golden" years. I walked into the hospital with my 85-year-old uncle yesterday morning, who was a letter carrier for decades, and I'm here to tell you: All that walking served him WELL! Hunched over, shuffling old man? Hell, no! It all adds up and while it's never too late to start, starting now is better than starting tomorrow.

3. Movement = More Movement. The more you do it, the more you can do it. Does that make sense? Joints without activity get stiff and sore. Muscles that are not challenged are muscles that disappear. The more you move now, the more you can move tomorrow.

4. Movement = Physical and Mental Benefits. Movement calms you when you are nervous or uncomfortable. (Thank goodness for long, empty hospital hallways!) Movement clears your head when everything seems out of whack. (My mom walked into the hospital room today after a couple of long days, good night's sleep and a 2-mile walk and proclaimed, "Oh! I feel like a new person!")

5. Cliff Bar and Peanut M&M's at 10 p.m. = Dinner ... but they probably shouldn't.

Oh, and ...
6. Everyone Should Have One of These: 

Blanket Warmer

The Good, The Bad ... and the Yummy

First the Good ... -ish

A snowy day is a perfect day to bake cookies, right?

Well, yes, unless you really shouldn't be eating cookies. So I compromised. I made cookies with less butter than usual so I could call them healthy ... -er. Healthier.

For whatever reason, I have a pantry full of natural peanut butter. It's one of those things I buy because I'm afraid of running out, and then I end up with six jars of various sizes.

I'm not kidding. Six jars.

Original Peanut Butter Cookies: 
1 C butter
1 C peanut butter
1 C granulated sugar
1 C brown sugar
2 eggs
2-1/2 C flour
2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt

Lisa's Wonder-If-This-Will-Work-Yup-It-Does Peanut Butter Cookies: 
2 Tablespoons butter plus enough Greek yogurt to equal 1 dry measuring cup total (approx 1.5 containers)
1 C natural chunky peanut butter
1 C granulated sugar
1 C brown sugar
2 eggs
2-1/2 C flour (plus a handful at the end if batter is too wet)
2 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
Glug of hazelnut flavoring
Glug of vanilla

They spread a bit more than normal peanut butter cookies. And they don't hold the traditional criss-cross fork marks very well. I might cut back on the yogurt ... to .75 total cups maybe ... next time or add some more flour to stiffen the dough up a little. Or, maybe some chopped up peanuts. But they are tasty!

And Now, the Bad ... ish

What do you do with leftover Italian beef? I made some for a party a while back and had a couple of cups worth in the freezer. Last night, in a bout of laziness, I heated some of it up, grabbed some whole wheat tortillas and mozzarella and told Jim they were Italian burritos.

He bought it. I'm lucky he's easy.

But I STILL had some left over for tonight. And I knew I couldn't pull the burrito trick again. So I went way out on a limb and created this:

ITALIAN NACHOS!

And, man, they were delicious. Not diet food, to be sure, but great for Super Bowl Sunday, so I'm going to share it anyway. Not that I'm recommending this, but it would also be great drunk food. Like college guy after bar food. Think we could make a Food Network show with that kind of stuff? That would be so sweet!

Italian Nachos
Half bag of plain tortilla chips ... "baked" varieties a better choice
1 C leftover Italian beef
1 small can mushrooms
1/2 can artichoke hearts packed in water, chopped
1 teaspoon to 1 Tablespoon diced garlic
Shredded mozzarella cheese
Pecorino or Provolone cheese
Sprinkle of oregano

Spread chips on baking sheet in a single layer. Sprinkle on a light layer of moz and set aside. In a small sauce pan, heat up the beef, mushrooms, chopped artichoke hearts and garlic. Let most of the juice cook out. Drop/spread the meat mixture over the cheesed-up tortilla chips as evenly as possible. Grate a little pecorino/provolone over the top so when it melts, it kind of glues it all together. Sprinkle with oregano. Bake in 350-degree oven for a few minutes until everything is melted. Serve warm!

I'm Caustic

This is a photo of the towel bar in my bathroom.

This is a closeup of the spot where I hang my workout clothes each morning before I take a shower.

                                      

The dark bronze coating is wearing off so you can see the silver base color shining through.

I hang my workout gear there to dry out before I toss it in the laundry basket. I want it all to dry because if it goes into the basket wet, or even damp, it can stink up the whole master closet where the laundry basket lives.

Isn't that gross?

Further proof that I'm never going to be one of those dainty girls who "glow" when they exert themselves. (Remember this post? Sweat or Glow?)

But that's OK. I'm not sure if those girls are really working. I don't mind my farmhand-on-a-90-degree-day approach to life. Makes me feel tough.

And, in the end, I guess a new towel bar, or some touch-up paint, is a small price to pay for being stronger.

It's Baaaack ... Bothersome, Biwildering BMI

I have already talked about my recent doctor's visit. One of the things my clinic has implemented in the past few years is this "summary" sheet you take home with you. It summarizes your visit ... your current meds, upcoming tests/requirements, past procedures/dates. It documents questions you've asked and conversations you've had.

It's a nice one-pager that helps me remember what happened at the appointment and when I had my last tetanus shot.

It also lists my height, weight and BMI.

My BMI, with the addition of the 15 pounds I've put on this past year, is now dead in the middle of the "Overweight" range at 27.

Wah wah wah.

At my leanest, I was at 24, which is the very high end of "Normal." Apparently, fifteen pounds, on my 5' 4-1/2" frame is a dealbreaker.

Now, I know BMI isn't the end-all-be-all marker, though it's a really good one. I also know better than to get too fixated on this one number. I'm a work in progress and it's good to know where I am so I can head in the right direction.

It also reminds me how strangely I see myself and how I cannot for the life of me accurately see my body in a "true" way. I've ranted about this before (BMI Bull****, BMI Confession and The Number), and I still struggle with trying to get my head around how size 4 pants is barely in the Normal category ... even if they are the biggest 4s in the world. What is overweight? What does it look like? What is normal? Argh!

Of course, it sort of pisses me off, too. Maybe it will be enough to make want to get it in gear and get out of the blessed Overweight range for once and for all. After all the work, all the miles, all the sweat, all the sore muscles, all the injections, all the money spent on training and classes, all the early mornings, all the growling tummies, all the raw cauliflower, all the time, all the effort ... how can I still be here?

If I'd buckled down a year ago, I would be there by now. 

My GP and I Have an Inside Secret

Rarely does the idea of my annual physical exam give me the warm fuzzies.

Ladies, am I right? It's a necessary evil. It's uncomfortable.

It's even sort of hilarious if you can see it for what it is and imagine yourself as a fly on the wall during "the deed." (You, adamant about keeping your socks on as if they provide some sort of comfort when you nonchalantly throw your feet in metal stirrups. You and your doc pretending to have a casual conversation while he/she crams that plastic salad tongs up inside you. Me, wondering as I'm laying there, if my doc pictures me from this angle every time I see her socially. That all cracks me up. Sorry.)

But I left mine yesterday feeling on top of the world.

Why?

Well, for one, my weight was exactly where I thought it was going to be and I didn't get shorter. That means I didn't gain over the holidays. In fact, I lost a little. Plus, I know I'm at at age where I'm going to start losing quarter- or half-inches. It hasn't happened yet and I'm thrilled!

Secondly, my blood pressure was good. 124/76 to be exact. I know I tend to measure higher at the office, so I feel like I'm in a good spot there. Confirmation that what I'm doing is good and right.

Thirdly, I finally got my flu shot and was able to schedule some other routine tests. I'm due for a fasting cholesterol panel and a colonoscopy. My family history requires me to watch both closely. (My dad had colon cancer, so I'm on a 5-year rotation there and have already had it done twice. Call me if you want details. Ha!) It feels good to have those things on the books ... check them off the list!

Lastly, while my doc was poking around on my shoulder after I'd asked about a "catch" I've been battling, she pulls back and says, "I can tell you've been lifting weights. I feel muscles."

She made my day. While the whole world can't see them just yet because they are covered with a bit of "extra" at the moment, they are in there!

She knows. And I know. For now, that's enough.

How To Lighten Up a Recipe

This might fall under the "Duh" category. And if it does, sorry. Sometimes I think that people are afraid to change things in recipes because the Recipe Police may come arrest them or it just won't turn out at all if you wander from the "rules."

I hope you know there are no Recipe Police. And I hope that you also know that if you taste it along the way, and you like it, it doesn't matter what the dang recipe says. Of course, this might not be true for baking. There some rules just need to be followed for scientific/chemical reaction kinds of reasons. The good news is that cooking is vastly different from baking and it can be fun to take something and make it your own.

So, this is a real-life example of how I lightened up a recipe last night.
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Jim loves Zuppa Toscana from Olive Garden. We don't go to Olive Garden these days because there isn't much on the "healthy" end of the spectrum, but when I found this recipe online ... it's making the rounds in Pinterest ... I thought I'd give it a whirl.

Copycat Zuppa Toscana

Look at the nutrition summary. A single serving had 790 calories. That's 790. Like almost 800. You know, two-thirds of a 1200 calorie day.

Uh. No.

So here's what I did:

1. The recipe calls for a pound of Italian pork sausage. That's a whole bunch of calories and fat.
SWITCH: Find turkey sausage in your grocery meat department. It's lower in fat and calories ... by about a half, I think. Then don't use a whole pound. Use a half a pound. Or thee-quarters. Just use less. I also chose the "hot" sausage vs. the mild/sweet variety. If I'm using less, I want as much bang for my flavor buck as possible.

2. The recipe calls for two large russet potatoes. White potatoes aren't an enormous calorie issue, but they don't provide much nutrition.

SWITCH: Use fewer potatoes. Then, add something to bulk up the volume of things to chew. I added a package of sliced mushrooms. Calories in one cup of potato? 120. Calories in one cup of brown mushrooms? 21. Plus, the mushrooms have more nutritional value ... vitamin D, B, antioxidents. So now I'm making more soup with fewer calories, which helps lower the count per serving.

3. The recipe calls for 16 oz. of chicken stock. The recipe also says a single serving contains 75-freaking-% of your daily sodium intake.
SWITCH: Use low-sodium stock and add more water. Again, you're making MORE soup, lowering the calories and sodium per serving. With the bacon and sausage, you'll never miss the salt.

4. The recipe calls for 1C heavy cream. Holy crap.
SWITCH: I bought no-fat half and half. And then I only used a few turns around the pan ... maybe a third of a cup if I had to guess. It made the color and consistency enough like the original to count. I think you could also use skim milk, honestly. I just didn't have any on hand. Fewer calories, enough "creamy" consistency to fool your eyes and palette.

Now the big question. Bacon?

Yes, I used real bacon. And I used the recommended amount. To be honest, I might leave it out altogether next time. I couldn't taste a bacon/smoky flavor in the final product and it didn't really need the salt either. So, next time I make this recipe, it will be even lower in calories and sodium.

And, full disclosure, I also substituted frozen spinach for kale. I consider that a wash ... no calorie savings and no significant nutritional gain/loss.

Best of all, the soup was a total hit! He didn't notice a single difference between my version and the real thing.

"So, What's a Good Breakfast?"

"So, what's a good breakfast?" 

It's a question I get a lot. And one I'm not always comfortable answering. Not because I don't want to share, but because I'm not an expert. I'm not a registered dietitian. 

But I am someone who has tried a bunch of different ways to lose weight. I'm someone who has lost a lot of weight. I'm someone who has kept that weight off for a few years. 

I'm also someone who works out a lot, who loves to eat ... a lot ... and who pays attention to how food affects the way I feel and the way I perform. 

So maybe I'm an expert on ME and if you take these recommendations as that, and only that, I'll get comfortable with this. 

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I think breakfast needs to be about energy and staying power. If you ate right the day before, you should be hungry when you wake up. You need the energy (carbs) to help you attack your busy day and you need staying power (protein) to fuel your muscles and to help you get to your snack, which for me is about 2.5 hours after breakfast. 

The carbs are important, but need to work hard. So they have to be good carbs ... not white bread or white flour pancakes. Whole grain. Not multi grain. Not corn. If you work out in the morning, the carbs are your jet packs, giving you the zip to jump higher, run faster, walk farther. 

The protein is the cinderblock of your foundation. Protein makes sure your belly feels full long after you've eaten. It also sends reinforcement to your muscles, allowing them to continue building as you're breaking them down with an a.m. lifting routine or as you lift that bale and tote that barge at your job. 

So, finally, here are some sample breakfasts: 

1. Yogurt Mash-Up

1 container Greek vanilla yogurt, small handful of berries, 1/4 C all natural/homemade granola that's heavy on nuts/whole oats. 

2. PB & WWST

One 110-calorie whole wheat Sandwich Thin or Bagel Thin, toasted, and 1-2 Tbs all-natural peanut butter or nut butter. I may also add a clementine or small bunch of grapes to this, depending on my activity. 

3. Meal Replacement Shake

I usually have Advocare Vanilla on hand, but there are lots of brands to choose from. I prefer to make mine with a dash of vanilla extract and another of hazelnut extract, then I add a few ice cubes and whir it all up in one of those single-serving blender bottle things. Or I do vanilla and cinnamon. Every once in a while, I get crazy and throw in a handful of raspberries or blackberries. 

4. Fruit and Nuts

An apple/orange/pear and 1/4 C of nuts. I switch between almonds, walnuts and pistachios. The almonds and walnuts are the kind I use for baking ... no salt or flavoring because that adds so much sodium. But, the pistachios have to have salt for me! 

5. Eggs and Oats

I try to limit myself to two egg yolks a week, but that's not a hard and fast rule. However, I allow myself unlimited egg whites. I used to buy Egg Beaters. And then I wised up and said ... real eggs are a thousand times cheaper and all Egg Beaters are really just egg whites with yellow food coloring. So what if I throw away a few yolks? For breakfast, I fry one whole egg plus one more white in a spray of olive oil and then make 1/2 to 1 cup of old fashioned oats, made in the microwave with water and cinnamon. I will admit, however, to using four or even five egg whites if I'm super hungry! 

6. Egg Sammy

Same fried egg/s as above, piled high on 1/2 of a sandwich thin with a dash of Molly McButter Cheese Flavor Sprinkles or even pinch of grated real cheese. As an option, a piece of whole grain bread and half an avocado spread on it is also "popular" in the blogs/Pinterest/webosphere right now, though I haven't actually ever tried it. 

7. Protein Bar

In a pinch, this works, though I don't love it as an option and it's usually my last resort. There can be so much crap in these things! And sometimes they are so small that they don't satisfy my need to chew and EAT. Look at the ingredients list. Fewer is better. And the more "real food" in that list, and fewer chemicals, the better also. 

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One more note ... I prefer to work out before I eat. I can find 200 articles on the web on this subject and 100 say that's OK and 100 say that's bad. I don't care. I don't like food in my stomach when I'm running or whatever. The only problem is when I have a race at 9 a.m. or a RIPPED class at 8 a.m. ... it's too late to not eat before the start of those activities. On those days, I try to eat at least a full hour before I work out. And I keep it simple ... usually a shake or a PB & WWST. 

Don't Spin ...

I'm standing in my pantry, door flung open wide, eyes quickly darting back and forth, looking for something ... anything ... to shove in my mouth. I'm fighting, with everything I have, the very beginning burn of tears. Then I hear my own voice, urgent and loud,

"Don't spin. Don't spin. Don't spin!"

Each repetition gets louder; each iteration gets faster.

I'm trying so hard to remind myself that there's nothing in that pantry that's going to make me feel better.
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In the past few weeks, I thought I was finally closing in on employment. I had an enthusiastic recruiter. I had a good pre-screen from HR. I had a couple of good interviews. I thought I had a great conversation with a VP after dragging myself to Madison during my little flu bug.

And then today I learned that they went another direction.

Which is HR talk for, "We didn't like you as much as we liked someone else. You weren't as smart. Or as pretty. Or as charming. Or as good. In fact, you didn't smell as nice and you sort of suck compared to the other guy/girl." (OK, you know HR can't legally call you ugly. But you also know they DO.)

Whoooomp. Steel toe to the gut.

Followed with a sharp strike to the head for good measure.
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I'm trying so hard to not let this unemployment thing bother me. I'm trying to put my faith in the universe and believe that it all will work out like it's supposed to. No one is dying. I have a roof over my head. I have food to eat.

But it's starting to pick at my self confidence. It's starting to tear away bits of my self esteem. I can feel the panic starting to creep in when I'm not paying attention.

Those feelings affect how I feel about ME. I start to doubt my ability to do anything right. I start to feel like an enormous failure. I beat myself up and I kick myself around.

And that's when I end up ears deep in a pan of brownies before I know what hit me.
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So that's why I was talking to myself in the pantry. I was trying to catch myself before I fell off the cliff.

One solution would be to go for a walk or a run. (I even saw someone riding their bike today in the sunshine, on snowy roads in my neighborhood!) But I already did RIPPED this morning and I rode my trainer bike for an hour after that. So instead, I'm writing this blog post.

And I ate some pickles. That's going to have to do until dinnertime.

Ketchup, Sugar Packets, Dirty Napkin ... Whatever It Takes

I have a problem with self-control. Especially when it comes to food.

If there's food in my line of vision, I eat it. Remember that old joke ... "I'm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I eat it!"

Hardee, har, har. Funny, but true for me.

My lack of self-control has led me to make changes in my lifestyle in an effort to avoid overeating. I don't buy potato chips, because I cannot have a bag sit in the pantry without "sneaking" a handful or two a day. I don't bring home a bag of Twizzlers, because I cannot limit myself to "one a day." I don't keep tater tots on hand because I will totally eat them for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I have the same problem in restaurants. We all know that most restaurant meals are enough to feed at least two people, both from a volume and calorie perspective. Portions are enormous!

(And that's why I LOVE places that put calorie counts on the menu and cannot wait for it to be mandated by law everywhere! Spare me the "Big Brother" argument. I have a right to know what I'm putting in my body. You don't want to know? Don't look. But I digress.)

The experts say to ask for a to-go box before you start eating, put half of your meal in it, and happily enjoy the remaining half. That always makes me feel like a knob ... like I'm drawing attention to myself and asking my dining companions to congratulate me on making a big deal about my healthier-than-theirs choices.

Another option would be to just eat half, then ask for the to-go box and put the remaining half in it. There are two problems with that for me. First, some things just aren't going to be good as leftovers, so you don't bother asking for the box. And second, sometimes it takes a while for the box to come. In either scenario, I end up with food I like, sitting on a plate in front of me and there's nothing else to do but eat it.

So I do. I eat it. All of it. I mindlessly pick at it as my dining companions are finishing their own meals. I take "just one more bite"  ... a half dozen times. Until it's all gone. Even when I don't intend to or want to.

Because I have no self control.

So this is my solution: I ruin it.

When I get to the place where it's time to stop eating, and while I'm still thinking clearly, I make a conscious decision to stop shoveling food in my pie hole.

And I wreck the rest of the food on my plate.

I open a pack of ketchup and squirt it over the pancake. Or I open a packet of sugar and dump it on the burger. Or I drop my napkin on the floor, then pick it up and spread it over the remnants of my meal. Or I stack up dirty dishes/utensils/etc. on my plate.

Sabotage, at my own hand. To prevent my hand going to my mouth.

It works.

Workout Gear is On Sale

I love this time of year.

It's a new year. A new beginning where anything is possible. It's the time of resolutions. Eat Better! Exercise More! It's the time we set our goals, the bigger the better. 

There is also a whole slew of new opportunities. New workout class schedules start at the Y or your health club. Pinterest is peppered with training programs. Spring/Summer/Fall races get posted on Active.com so we can all plan our calendars. 

And, maybe best of all, everything "healthy" is on sale. Want workout gear? Now is the time! This week the Shopko and Target inserts were loaded with discounts on everything from clothes to kettle bells. I received a drool-worthy Athleta catalog with a "Free Shipping/Free Returns" promo on the cover. (But seriously ... who spends $59 on a tank top that doesn't even have a self-bra in it?) Even the grocery stores get in on it with ads that focus on fresh, healthy choices to support all those resolutions. 

I am still in the process of setting my own goals. Big and small. I have heard from a few of you and can't wait to see how your progress goes as you take on a new boot camp, add a weight lifting program, make time for the gym, re-up your clean eating. 

Remember that big changes happen with small steps, repeated many times. Don't be afraid to set that big goal (I'm going to lose 100 pounds!), but once you know what it is, set it aside and find something smaller and more immediate (I'm going to lose five pounds in the next three weeks). Lather, rinse, repeat.

Do the right things often enough and good things happen. 

Now, I'm off to go buy some cute new stuff. 

Day of Only 1000 Steps: Listen to Your Body

Ever feel like you got hit by a truck?

I had one of those days yesterday. 

I felt it coming on at my 6:30 a.m. Circuits class on New Year's Eve. Something was off. My whole body ached and I just couldn't get it all going. I came home, got cooking/assembling my NYE appetizers, helped Jim build a few spreadsheets for 2015 and then eventually got around to a short 3-mile interval run. By 6 p.m., I was all in and my stomach was starting to feel queasy.

So, romantically, Jim fired up the grill to make one of the two steaks I'd picked up. The mere thought of it was too much for me to bear.

But, we had a party to go to, so I put on sparkly earrings and headed out. I even managed to eat a bit while I was there. My first drink was OK, but the second just didn't work. By 11, I was ready to go home.

I slept 8+ hours and woke up feeling perfectly awful.

So I listened to my body. It wanted rest. It did not want to eat. So that's what I did. Oh, I attempted a shower and tried to convince myself to go to my mom's for the Badger game, but it was not meant to be.

I went back to bed.  I eventually got an Advocare Meal Replacement Shake to stay down around 11 a.m. Then I napped and laid around some more. About 4 p.m., my stomach was starting to rumble from hungry, and all I wanted was a pancake. So Jim made me a waffle (from year-old waffle mix found in the back of the pantry ... calculated risk) ... close enough. And then I took another nap until it was time to go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

And I slept until 6:30 a.m. today.

I'm still not feeling 100%. But I feel 10x better than I did yesterday.

Maybe it was catch-up from the previous two weeks. Maybe I had a little 24-hour bug. Maybe it was none or both of those things. Who knows? The point is your body will tell you what's right.

The Fitbit progress report this week will show an epic "fail" for Thursday, at 1036 steps. But I will know that it was exactly what my body needed.

Fast Food, On Purpose

Today, I ate at Arby's for lunch.

On purpose.

I do it every year on/about Dec. 27 to celebrate my dad's birthday. Jim and I go and clink our roast beef sandwiches in a toast to the memory of The Rock.

You see, Arby's was his favorite. He loved him a Beef 'n Cheddar like nobody's business.

Good for my waistline? Not so much. Good for my soul? Yes.

Because of Jim's dad's funeral yesterday, we didn't get there on the 27th, which is always the goal. We assumed, however, given the circumstances, we'd be forgiven for showing up one day late.

It was delicious.

Something tells me on Junior's birthday in February, we will celebrate with a shot of Canadian Club or a pork chop. I'm good with either.

Or both.

The Best Kind of Full

In my last post, I was planning how to celebrate the Lean in 13 program being over. I was looking forward to eating a bit more normally again, a bit less restricted. I was getting tired of being hungry and I wanted to just feel "full" again.

My plans went out the window.

This past week has been a rough one. My larger-than-life father-in-law passed away early Monday morning, after 89 extraordinary, adventure-filled years on this earth. Hospice had told us a week prior that we were in the final stretch and that meant all schedules, plans, intentions, and any sense of "normal" were tossed into the breeze as we did our best to help him make his final journey home.

Good eating? Only if you call pizza, Christmas cookies and thrown-together-meals-on-the-fly good. Normal exercise schedule? Not a top priority. Sleep? Umm, no, even if it wasn't my turn on the night shift. The stress of the situation didn't allow for real rest.

And once we had said our goodbyes, there was still more to do. Making arrangements, getting things ready for the funeral, lots of tears, more fitful sleep, trying to make sure everyone is OK. Again, the Christmas cookies and snacks were convenient, but  not fulfilling. I found myself eating ... a lot ... and never getting the satisfaction I had been dreaming of when my stomach was growling during Lean in 13.

Of course, you and I both know what the problem was. I wasn't going to find what I was looking for in a bag of potato chips.

As I sat in church on Christmas Eve, I finally understood what it means to be truly full.

Full of the love that sustains me. My family now fills an entire pew and as the people I love most in the world, they fill my heart with support, acceptance and strength. Those things provide the foundation I need to withstand any storm.

Full of the spirit that guides me. My daughter picks on me every time we're in church because I always cry. My home church is such a wonderful place. It's the one place I feel truly connected to me ... the real me ... and it fills me with warmth and golden light. Sounds corny, maybe, but it's true.

Full of the hope that encourages me. The world can be a not-so-nice place. But when I'm surrounded by people who believe in a greater good, people who acknowledge their blessings and share their joy, I can't help but trust that there is more good to come.

Full of the peace that settles me. Yes, this is a very sad time for my husband and our family. We are going to miss a great man terribly. Life will never be the same. But I am reminded how lucky we were to love him and be loved by him. As I sit in that pew, I know deep down in my heart that we will all be OK because that is the promise that has been made to us.

You can't get that kind of full with gingerbread men.

What I'm Going to Eat Tomorrow

I'm starting to fantasize about what I'm going to eat tomorrow.

After 13 days in food exile, the thought of cramming anything I want in my pie hole is intoxicating.

Here's what I want:

• Half of the box of chocolates that are under the tree
• A giant gingerbread man
• Popcorn
• Brie and havarti on crackers
• Peanut butter on a toasted Sandwich Thin
• A 6-pack of Cherry Coke Zero ... with a shot or two of Southern Comfort thrown in for a nightcap

Not yet sure if I'll actually eat all of that. Maybe it would be smarter to have one thing a day?

I'm happy to say I truly followed the Lean in 13 rules almost to the letter. Yesterday, my timing was off because our schedule had to be adjusted for reasons more important than my goofy eating reset. And today, I started off kilter for the very same reason.

But for 95% of the time, I can say with certainty that I gave it my best effort and I am glad I did. I proved to myself that I can put myself and my health first and I can right the ship when it goes off course.

I also proved that I feel good when I eat clean and that I can lose weight by doing so. Good lessons.

It was also a good way to force myself to think about food as fuel vs. pleasure. What my body needs vs. what it wants. There is a big difference and I think there may be a post on that coming up. It's a very tough concept for me.

However, it isn't realistic for me to live this way, day in and day out. First of all, it's probably not enough food for a much longer haul. There's also not enough variety for my personal tastes. (Don't expect to see me eating a handful of nuts anytime soon! I'm over it.) And let's be real ... I don't really want to live in a world where there's no chocolate for 13 days.

I do think that some version of this will become a part of my routine, though. The good stuff? It got me off sugar for almost two whole weeks. It took all unhealthy fat out of my diet. It really cut the salt intake. And it put a healthy, balanced curb on the carbs.

The good news is I can take what I love about the Mediterranean Food Pyramid (variety, almost unlimited fresh produce) and combine it with the occasional "restriction" of Lean in 13 and come up with something that works. Live day-to-day on Med, rein in with Lean and then indulge purposefully and thoughtfully ... infrequently.

A 4-Mile Run is a 4-Mile Run, Right?

My "normal" run is 4 miles. I do it a two or three times a week. It's my standard. My ordinary. My ham-and-cheese-on-white-bread workout.

Some days, it's a breeze. Some days I struggle to knock it out. It normally includes a quarter-mile warm up and cool down walk at each end. It normally is at a 5.8-6.0 mph pace. And it normally takes me about 45 minutes, all said and done.

So when I saw a HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training) version of my normal run, I thought it would be fun to try because, in the back of my head, I thought it would be easy. The plan said to run for one minute at 50% of your normal exertion, followed by a minute at 70% and another minute at 100%. Repeat this cycle 15 times or for 45 total minutes.

Run at 50% for a third of my normal time? How hard could that be? Sounds not so tough, right?

Ha! Famous last words.

I chose to do the 50% at 5.0 mph, 70% at 5.5 mph and 100% at 6.2 mph.

And the 45 minutes kicked my ass.

I got it done, but not without backing that 6.2 down to a 6.0 for three cycles at the end. And, I was all in when it was over.

I ran the same 4 miles in 45 minutes, and two thirds of it was considerably slower than my normal pace.

Intervals work. Intervals increase cardio efficiency, improve overall speed and increase endurance. They also help you burn more calories in the same amount of time.

I'm going to try and make one run every two weeks an interval one. Try it yourself. Start with a 30-second interval for 10 cycles and see where you're at. Increase interval time and number of cycles as you get stronger.

Learn more here: Interval Tips and Tricks