I Had High Blood Pressure Medicine

I was rifling through the little plastic white basket that holds our over-the-counter medicine stash the other day, trying to tidy and consolidate.

In among the half-used boxes of daytime and nighttime cold remedies, bottles of ibuprofen, store-brand Dramamine and Pepto Bismol, I found this with my name on it:

I honestly had to idea what it was. I couldn't remember the last time I had a prescription. Was it pain killer from my knees? Was it an antibiotic for something?

I went to the computer and did a search and imagine my surprise when I learned it was used for high blood pressure.

The date on the bottle was Feb. 2010.

And I stood there, so confused. I had absolutely no memory of being prescribed high blood pressure meds.

But clearly, I had.

A little more investigation, on this blog as a matter of fact, showed me that my get-healthy journey officially started in March of 2010 when Jim went in for a physical and we changed the way we ate. I started walking and by May I could run 5 miles at a crack. I ran my first 10K (6.2 miles) in October. By November of that year, 8 short months later, I had shed 70 pounds and was well on my way to the 95 I'd end up dropping.

What I can tell from this bottle is that I never took a single pill. They're all still there.

It's interesting to me that I cannot remember having a blood pressure discussion with my doctor, being prescribed these pills, picking them up or bringing them home. I don't remember them factoring into my decision to change the way I lived.

Perhaps the reality of high blood pressure meds scared me so much that I have chosen to bury the whole episode. And perhaps it really did serve as the impetus for this whole shebang. It's absolutely fascinating to me that the emotional part of being bigger is such a complicated and real thing. And it's proof to me that getting healthier requires more than a list of foods to eat and a list of exercises to do. It must involve some attention to the space between your ears.

What I know for sure is that looking at the bottle and thinking about what could have been freaks me out. I feel the combination of fear, embarrassment and shame the old me surely also felt looking at the same pills.

But guess what? I know with every fiber in my being and in  a way I will never forget that I don't need those pills now and, God willing, I will never need them again. Eating better and moving more has taken care of whatever issue I may have had.

And, it can work for you, too. If I can be of any help to you in your journey, please let me know.

Apple Cake, My Way

Had a hankering for something sweet, fall-ish and not too workout-wrecking. I made this. 

And it was good! 

I actually halved the recipe below and put it in a 9" round cake pan, but a square 8" pan would work, too. 

Apple Cake

5 apples, peeled, cored and diced up fairly small ... chocolate chip size

2 C all purpose flour

1/2 t kosher salt

4 t cinnamon

1 t nutmeg

4 t baking powder

4 eggs or 2 whole eggs and 2 egg whites

1/2 C white sugar

1/2 C packed brown sugar

1 C fake sugar

1 container Greek yogurt (plain, vanilla, caramel apple or apple pie flavor ... regular, light or fat free)

2 t vanilla extract

1 C chopped walnuts

4 t cinnamon

1 t sugar

Preheat oven to 350 degrees and grease and flour 9 x 13 pan. Prepare apples and set aside. Mix dry ingredients in a medium bowl and set aside. In big mixing bowl, beat eggs, sugars, yogurt and vanilla. Add dry to wet until completely mixed. Add apples and walnuts. Pour in pan. Sprinkle cinnamon/sugar mixture over the top. (This can be omitted if you prefer.) Bake for 50 minutes (30-ish for half of recipe) or until a toothpick comes out clean when stuck in center. Begin checking around 40 min (whole recipe) or 25 min (half recipe) to make sure you don't overbake. After cooling, I'd store in fridge. 

It's yummy on its own. But you could make a cream cheese frosting (light cream cheese, powdered sugar, vanilla and a dash of cinnamon) to drizzle over the top. Or a simple glaze (milk, vanilla, powdered sugar). Or serve with whip cream. Or, better yet, warm with ice cream!!!!! I could do this all day ... 

Benefit of Being Thinner #36

Golf with strangers is No. Big. Deal.

(It's been a while since we've had one of these, right? The more "normal" being smaller becomes, the less I notice the differences between then and now, I guess.)

Yesterday, my husband got wooed by his insurance company. If you work in some kind of job that involves sales reps selling things to you -- or trying to -- you know how this goes.

You, sales rep, 18 holes, lunch or dinner. In our case, it also involved another dude to complete our foursome.

There was a time in my life when this would have been my idea of hell. Nine hours with strangers that I had to be nice to for Jim's sake. Two meals, eating in front of people I didn't know. Eighteen holes where the three other people are watching you specifically every single time you take a swing ... in other words, no place to hide.

Yesterday, however, I noticed that it was not hell. In fact, it was fun. A lot of fun.

I wasn't worried about someone making judgments about what I ate for lunch. I put my stride on and confidently walked to my tees, knowing the three men behind me could see my ass heading there. I didn't panic when dinner was suggested with the sales rep's wife. (The only thing worse for me than dealing with a man I didn't know was dealing with a woman I didn't know.)

It was nice to turn my face toward the sun on the fairway, take a deep breath and allow myself a small pat on the back for the hard work I have put in. Life is so much easier this way. And it feels so good to not be afraid and uncomfortable all the time.

Does Anyone Eat the Veggie Tray?

No matter what the gathering, I almost always put out a veggie tray. You know what it looks like ... baby carrots, red peppers, cauliflower, cucumbers, grape tomatoes, broccoli and maybe something super exotic like canned black olives or banana pepper rings with a bowl of dip in the middle.

I remember the first time I ever saw a veggie tray. It was the late 1970s and my dad had taken us to the press box at UW-Whitewater on a Saturday football gameday. He was broadcasting the play-by-play part of the game for WFAW radio with his long-time pal and color-man Lew. Feeling like big shots, my little sister and I were allowed to enjoy the press box view, quietly.

Before the game started, he took us to the spread put on by the University for the coaching staffs and radio crews. Enormous veggie trays? Yes. And cold cut trays. I could hardly believe those beautiful platters of geometrically colorful raw veg, rolled up slices of deli meat and artistically arranged cheeses! I thought it was the fanciest thing I'd ever seen.

We really didn't get out much.

But I digress.

My question of the day is, "Does anyone really WANT the veggie tray?" I mean, does anyone really eat it at your gatherings?

I had an enormous one out for our little weightlifting session on Sunday night. It was barely touched. And as I sit here and try to think of what to make for dinner, I'm faced with a fridge full of veggie tray leftovers that have to get used up sooner rather than later.

Let's face it,  there is ALWAYS  veggie tray leftovers. And it's damn hard to find something else to do with cucumber slices.

So why do we insist on having this monstrosity in the first place?

Well, I guess so there's some sort of healthy option. Maybe because it's easy. Or colorful. Or because we're supposed to?

I'm not sure what the actual reasons are. Maybe all of those. Maybe none.

As such, I suspect I'll keep doing it. But I might try something a bit different to see if I can get more interest/action ... and fewer leftovers:

DNF. Well, Really, It Was a DNS ...

One of the tricks I use to motivate myself is to sign up ... and prepay ... for races/rides/events that are a way off in the future.

I figure that once I commit my hard-earned CASH, I won't back out. (Let's be real. We all know how, er, um, thrifty I am, right? Or cheap. I'm really just cheap.)

So that's what I did for the Tyranena Brewery's Oktoberfest Bike Ride that took place this past Saturday in Lake Mills. I registered early, sent in my Benjamins and set the training goal.

And then I didn't train.

Want to hear my excuses?

• Life has been a bit busy this past month ... I can do this without training
• The weather has been cold ... I can do this without training
• I have been running, so I'm sure my cardio strength is fine ... I can do this without training
• I'll have company in the form of my cousin Mary to keep me motivated ... I can do this without training
• I can always just do the shorter 50 mile route if I want ... so I can definitely do this without training. 

Then Saturday rolled around. All week long the forecast called for cold and wet and the morning did not disappoint. Mary and I do a quick text session and decide it's too miserable to ride, but that we're going to go pick up our shirts/packets because, damn it, we already paid for them.

The whole way there, I'm still making excuses:

• It snowed on my way to Mary's house
• I don't have the proper biking gear for 40-degrees and rain
• I did wake up early enough to get RIPPED in ... so the day's not a total bust
• I don't HAVE to do this ride ... no one is holding a gun to my head
• Oh, and did I mention how cold and miserable it would be in the rain? How cold my toes would be? How not fun 4 hours in those conditions sound? 

And honestly, I'm OK with not riding by the time we get there. It's a choice and we made it and life moves on.

Do I wish I had the fortitude to suck it up and ride? Honestly, yes. Mary's friend Jill rode ... in her ski jacket, mind you ... and part of me feels like I'm a jerk for not doing it.

(Nothing drives that point home more, BTW, than pulling into the parking lot and seeing a man with two prosthetic legs on his bike, ready to roll. Urgh. I'm pretty sure he'd tell me to stick my excuses up my ass.)

But there will be other rides/races/events on better days. Maybe there will even be a few like this where I'll make a different decision or I'll prepare better and get the equipment to eliminate the excuses altogether.

For now, I can't in good conscience wear the Tshirt without acknowledging the fact that I didn't earn it.

A simple DNF (Did Not Finish) isn't even accurate. It's a DNS ... Did Not Start.

October is for Triceps

Tomorrow is the LAST day of 100 push ups.

And I couldn't be happier!

I feel stronger. I know my core is stronger. I know my push ups still suck, but I know I can do it.

So now it's time to try something new.

I hate the chicken flaps under my arms. I remember my fourth grade teacher and the flaps we made fun of ... now I have them. Well, mine are probably worse. Mine come with a good extra bit of poundage. Hers did not.

What's the best way to combat flap? Strong triceps!!!

So, October is Tricep Dip Challenge Month.

The goal:
Week 1: Three sets of 15 each day.
Week 2: Three sets of 20 each day
Week 3: Three sets of 30 each day
Week 4: YOU DECIDE ... how many can you do?

The further your feet are from the chair, the harder the dip. Keep your core tight. 

You Are Invited ... For Real

I've been kicking around this idea for a while now and I'm to the point where I'd like to try it. But I need you to tell me if you can join me. 

I'm hoping this is the first in a series of get-togethers where we learn a little and laugh a lot. Peggy Anderson, my RIPPED instructor and former FitBody champion will our guru for this topic. She's a great coach and will share her story ... and with any luck, you might share yours, too.  My goal is to create a community of people who support each other and learn from each other. 

CARSICK CARAVAN BE BETTER BLAST, Number 1

Take 90 minutes to do one thing better ... for YOU. 

WHAT: Intro to Strength Training: Biceps, Triceps and Shoulders. 

Learn why lifting is important for women and how to do it properly. You'll leave with a list of exercises and information on fueling your workout. Plus, there will be some great (and good for you) snacks and a cocktail or two. Bring a friend, your sister, your mom, your dad ... whoever you want! The more the merrier.  
WHERE: Lisa's house, 5901 S. Bakke Road, Beloit
DRESS CODE: Workout gear and scrunchies! This is supposed to be FUN!
WHEN: Sunday, Oct. 5, 6:30-8 p.m. (And remember, the holidays are coming! This is a good way to get a jump start on your plan to keep everything in check during the most difficult time of the year.)

Are you in? Reply via Facebook, call me, text me, run your car into mine in the parking lot ... just let me know if you'd like to come so I can plan food, drinks and make Peggy nervous.

Feed Your Belly ... and Your Heart

It's been a weird week here. One of those where you get emotionally tired due to a hundred different things tugging on you, some little, some bigger. Weeks like we all have every once in a while.

In the middle of all of it, I had a dream where my dad popped up. I always look forward to these surprise appearances because it's so nice to see him ... even if it's only in my imagination or subconcious or whatever.

But because of my situation this week, his visit just made me miss him. Terribly.

So I made soup.

Does that sound strange?

Now I imagine you're wondering ... was his favorite food soup? No. Do I have a special memory of the two of us making soup together? Nope. Maybe one of us eating soup together? Nah.

But I did spot a bag of noodles in my pantry as I was doing a "what should I make for dinner" scan and I couldn't help but think of him.

Here's the story:

My dad was raised in southwestern Wisconsin. God's country, he'd tell you. Our pilgrimages to Boscobel, Bagley and Prairie du Chien happened year-round, but the ones in the fall were perhaps his favorite. And mine.

You see, fall meant two things. First, it signalled the close of Pete's Hamburger Stand (http://peteshamburgers.com/) on the main drag in Prairie du Chien. My grandparents took my dad to this summer-only hamburger stand when he was a kid and he took us. There was a push each fall to get there for one last burger before they shuttered the trailer, leaving us without the "withs and withouts."

The second thing fall required was a stop at Peck's Farm Market outside of Spring Green on Highway 14/60.

If you've been here, you know that it is all things quintessentially Wiscsonsin/Fall/Farm Market. There is a petting zoo, pony rides and lots and lots and lots of squash. You'll see hay bales, corn shocks and bags of apples. You'll find locally made jam, fresh cheese curds and a surprising volume of Halloween decorations.

Rocky would load up on squash. (He'd long since stopped growing his own and driving the trailer full of extras around the block with his lawn tractor, handing them out to the neighborhood.) He ALWAYS bought a bag or two of squeaky cheese curds and the biggest caramel apple he could find to eat in the car. And he always insisted on buying you whatever you managed to find.

That last year, I found a bag of goofy looking dry noodles. Their shape was somewhere between quadrefiore and ondule. He bought, I took them home and I think I remember making a simple bowl of buttered noodles once upon a time. There was not much left in the bag, so I must have made something else, too.

Quadrefiore Pasta

Ondule Pasta

Then they sat in the pantry. Giving up white flour for the better part of two years will do that to a noodle.

This week, when I spotted them, I remembered that whole big story I just told you. Then I dug out some chicken stock, cut up some onion and carrot, found leftover chicken in the freezer. I tossed in those last few funny-shapes, along with a handful of whole wheat egg noodles to round it out.

And then I had lunch with my dad.

It was perfect.

Chicken Noodle Soup
1 small to med onion, diced
Same amount of carrots, diced
Minced garlic
Same amount of corn (mine was frozen off the cob earlier this summer, but any kind works)
1-2 C leftover chicken
1 box reduced sodium chicken stock
Salt and pepper
Poultry seasoning
Thyme
Red pepper flake
Juice of half a lemon
1-2 big Tbsp of pre-made pesto
Noodles

Sautee the onion and carrots in a little olive oil until translucent. Add garlic, salt and pepper to your taste. Toss in the corn and chicken. Pour on the chicken stock. Add poultry seasoning, thyme to taste. (Or whatever spices you like ... all spice is always good with chicken, as is rosemary. This is just what I had on hand.) Squeeze lemon and add pesto. Adjust seasoning, then add noodles right to the pot.

If you're going to eat it right then and there, let the noodles cook all the way through. If you're going to stick it in the fridge and eat it tomorrow night, don't take it all the way. Leave some bite in the noodles so they can finish when you reheat.

You could also add mushrooms (cook with onions/carrots), substitute celery for carrots or include both, throw in some zucchini, etc. Your soup, your choice.

Miss you! 

First, You Climb a Mountain ...

Once upon a time there was this guy. He was 48. And he decided it was time to climb a mountain.

So he went out west, Colorado I think, and found a 14er ... you know, a mountain that is 14,000 feet tall.

And he climbed it.

As the story goes, ended up meeting some other folks while on his trek and got to the summit with them. They were surprised at his lack of camera and took a photo with him in it so he had something to remember the trip by.

Of course, he didn't need the photo. He had something better.

Addiction. Or call it "the bug." Adrenaline rush, maybe.

When I talked to him a while after he returned home, he was still completely buzzed. He wanted to do it again.

He did, of course. This past summer. I'm guessing he was a bit more prepared the second time around. Maybe he carried more water. Maybe he had better shoes.

But I'm sure he didn't look like a Professional Climber. I'm guessing he didn't have the priciest high-tech gear and he didn't follow a formal training plan. I'm sure he didn't have a sherpa.

Because he's not like that. He just wanted to see if he could do it. So he did.

This same guy is trying something new this weekend.

He's going to go do an Olympic Triathlon. It's his first race of any kind ever. The race he's chosen features a 1000-yard swim (a little more than a half-mile), a 27-mile bike ride and a 6-mile run.

He's never run 6 miles before. He's certainly never run 6 after biking 27 after swimming 1000 yards. But he's done enough of these things to know he can get it done.

"If I get tired, I'll walk," he said, in that unassuming way he has.

Has he trained? Of course, He's been swimming at the Whitewater Aquatic Center. He's been biking and running in his neighborhood. He even bought bike shorts, but that's about as far as he's willing to go.

Why start with something so big, I ask. Why not try a Sprint-length tri first ... where you swim a 1/4 to 1/2 mile distance, bike 12-13 miles and run a 5K?

"I know I can do that. So why start with something I know I can do? It should be a challenge," he said.

I can't even tell  you how much I love this.

And I can't wait for him to see the "professionals" who show up on race day, all geared up and strutting around like this event is the biggest thing that ever happened in their life, talking loudly about how they shaved 9 seconds off their transition times last weekend.

You know, the guys that shave their legs so they have less drag in the water.

It's going to crack my friend up.

Because in the end, he's going to go just as far and get just as much out of it as they are.

In fact, I'm willing to bet he's going to have more fun, too.

(You go, Super Doug! Can't tell you  how much I wish I could be there to cheer you on.)

I Love Working Out

I've been doing a bit of soul searching lately.

Not having a job will do that to you.

My summer of leisure (otherwise known as decompressing/re-evaluating my career path/gearing up for the next step in my life) is officially over and that means it's officially time to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing with my time, talents and passions.

In doing so, I'm trying to really look at what I love, what I want, what makes me happy.

I'll be honest ... I haven't found "it" yet. I haven't discovered the one magical job/vocation/calling that I am certain will fill me up for the rest of my days.

But I'm getting closer.

I'm ruling out a few things. Mostly living someone else's dream or working just to work. I've done both of those things now and neither appeals to me.

I have decided, however, that I know for sure that I love working out. I like the consistency with which I've been able to do it in my time off. I like training with Peggy, my RIPPED instructor, there to challenge me. I like setting goals and chasing them. I like variety in time of day, type of exercise, level of effort.

If only I had some coordination, rhythm and cheerfulness, being an instructor would be fun. I know myself well enough to know that I would be simply awful at that. So maybe I could find another way to help women like me find the same satisfaction and passion for it that I have found

So I'm adding this "working out" thing to the must-have column on my wish list.

Maybe with a little luck, that list will turn into a blue print for some kind of cool job.

Which will just make the really cool life I've been blessed with even better.

Current Glute/Ab/Hip Circuit

I try to do this circuit three times a week. I usually do it at the end of a lifting session, but sometimes, like today, it hooks up with a run/walk.

All you need is a floor and an exercise ball. I prefer a bigger ball. I own two. Once is only as tall as my knees and I rarely use it. The other is "chair height" ... as in, I could use it at a desk like a chair. That's the one I use most.

I'm giving you my number of reps, but start wherever is right for you and work up if you want to. Or, better yet, blow my numbers out of the water!

GLUTES

Double Leg Raise On Ball: Lay face down on ball, with the ball under your hips, hands on floor. Keep your legs straight out behind you and put feet together. I think my toes sort of point toward the sides a bit. Lift your legs up at the same time and squeeze your butt at the top of the lift. Lower your legs in a controlled fashion and repeat. Squeeze each time. You have to actively think about squeezing! I repeat this 50 times.

Like this:

Single Leg Corner Raise On Ball: Keep your hands in the same place and roll back on the ball a little so your toes touch the floor. Lift one leg to the "back corner" of your butt, squeezing at the top. I do 30 on each side, one side at a time.

Like this:



Frog Kick On Ball: Pretend you are a frog. Keep your hands in the same place and put the ball back under your hips. Frog kick out behind you, keeping your feet together. Move your feet in and out only, not up toward the ceiling or down toward the floor. Don't forget to squeeeeeeeeze! Repeat 30 times.

Like this:



Frog Lift On Ball: Your hands and hips stay in the same position, but instead of moving feet in and out, you're now going to move them to the "in" spot (like the above photo) and use your glutes to raise and lower your feet up toward the ceiling and back down to parallel with the floor. Be careful of your back and remember to squeeze those glutes each and every time. Repeat 30 times.

Like this:




Weighted Squat & Squeeze: Simple plié squats with a weight in hand. Squeeze, squeeze, squeeze! Repeat 25 times.

Like this:




Corner Kickbacks: Stand on one foot and lift the other back to the back "corner" of your butt. Use the back of a chair or wall to stabilize yourself if you're not too steady balancing on one foot. Do 25 on one side and then 25 on the other.

Like this, but less to the side and more toward the back corner:


I do three sets of this run-through. I normally choose squats OR the standing leg raises instead of doing both. Remember, the number of reps are completely up to you. Start with fewer and add five or 10 every other week as you get stronger. You will feel this where your butt meets your hamstrings if you SQUEEZE!

Did I remember to tell you to squeeze?


ABS/HIPS

I started with far fewer reps on these. And I don't do three full circuits. I run through the list below twice and then add one more Abs section. So, three abs, two hips, if that makes sense.

Bicycles: You know what this is. Keep them slow/controlled and deliberate, concentrating on holding those abs in. Keep your chin off your chest ... you should be able to get your fist in between the two. I count these on each leg ... so repeat 70 times, or 35 on each leg.

Like this:

Double Leg Lift: Lay on your back, put your feet together and lift them, so your hips bend at 90 degrees. Then slowly let it back down. If you're feeling really frisky, try to keep your heels OFF the floor the whole time. You can also do this on a bench, if you have one. Repeat 20 times. Slow, controlled and remember to breathe ... you'll feel this burn in your stomach and quads.

Like this:




Side Plank Dips: Lay on your side. Get up on your elbow and keep your legs straight out. Dip your hip up and down. If you're unstable, you can bend that bottom leg. This might take a little getting used to, but you'll feel it in a different spot that the previous two moves. Repeat 20 times on each side.

Like this:




Clamshells: The first of two hip exercises. I do them to prevent another cortisone shot. Runners have notoriously weak hips because running/walking does nothing to make those muscles strong. Form is really important here. Slow, deliberate, controlled. Lay on side, bend at knees, and lift the top leg up and down like Ms. Pac Man's mouth. Repeat 75 times. I always get good burn on these and I can tell if I skip a day or two.

Like this:


Single Leg Lifts: Again, for hips. This looks easier than it is. Go until you feel a burn (and then do a couple more!). Lay on your side, bend the bottom leg for stability, then lift the top one up and down. You don't have to lift very high, but you have to keep everything in line and controlled. If you start winging this and doing it fast, you won't get the benefit. I'll say it again, slow, deliberate, controlled. Foot flexed.

Like this:


If you do these right ... with intensity and without dilly dallying between exercises ... you will sweat. Remember to keep your form solid and strong ... abs pulled in tight, concentrating on squeezing target muscles with each move. If you don't hold your form, you're just wasting your time because winging your limbs around doesn't really accomplish much. When you do it right, you'll feel the difference.

Have fun!

Truths

• I skipped a regular workout today because: 1) I lifted yesterday and know I should not do that two days in a row; 2) have a right knee that's killing me ... waking me up at night again ... so cardio was also out. 
• I did complete my 100 push ups, though ... 40-40-20. I'm down from four sets of 25, which makes me happy. 
• I ate Jordan almonds in the car on the way to the grocery store. And again on the way home. Jim doesn't know that I hide them in the car. Hiding food is like sneaking booze, right? I may need a 12-step program. 
• I'm feeling a bit burnt out on the whole workout thing. I was trying to do one "big" event each week ... ride 50+ miles on my bike in one session, run/walk a minimum of a half marathon, etc. and I think I might have turned it into a chore. 
• I am using exercise as a "punishment" for eating too much the day before or an excuse to eat more the day of. That's the WRONG way to go about it. I should be exercising because it feels good and as a reward to myself. I have to disconnect the eating/exercise association. I should eat right all the time and exercise enough every day ... they aren't tied together. 
• Treating eating or exercise as a punishment or reward is one surefire way to sabotage yourself.
• I'm having a hard time writing for the blog because I'm not at my fighting weight and I'm struggling with how to get out of this funk. I don't feel very inspirational. In fact, I feel a bit like a disappointment (to you and to myself) and a bit like a fraud. I'm not walking the walk and it pisses me off. 
• Part of the reason that my knees are hurting so much is that I'm hauling an extra 20 pounds around. The good news is my body is capable of riding 60+ miles on my bike or walking/running 15 miles if I ask it to ... 20 pounds or not. But asking it to with the extra weight just puts more stress on my bone-on-bone problem. I hate living on Aleve. I have given up on Glucosomine. It doesn't seem to help. I am still taking Advocare's Omega-3 Fish Oil because that does seem to provide some relief. 
• Sometimes I wish I had a workout partner to go through this with. OK, maybe not a partner. Well, OK, I might be too selfish for that. I really want all the attention.  (Sometimes the truth hurts.) Maybe I wish I could afford a personal trainer. I like someone challenging me and I like proving I can meet or beat that challenge. 
• The current arrangement of RIPPED is too jumpy/bouncy for me. It kills my knees. And, when I do the "lower impact" modification to any move, I feel like a lame-ass loser. 
• I'm addicted to chocolate. This is not a surprise. 
• New Runner is still running. I love this.
• I secretly want to be on stage. Just once. 
• Chaffing is a bitch. I have two new workout tanks that have trim/piping under my arm. When I walk a long way, and sweat, my underarm jiggle rubs and literally gives me open wounds. 
• Weight lifting might become my new workout obsession. 
• I wish I could be more help to people who are struggling with this process. 
• I'm terrified of gaining more weight. I saw some photos of my old self at my in-laws house recently and I cannot believe I was that person for so long. I was so unhappy and that's what I see more than anything. I don't want to feel like that again. 

Motivation is a Myth

Looking for a magical, mystical vapor to come envelope you and get you on the "eat right/exercise" bandwagon?

Waiting for that spark to burst down deep in your gut that makes you enthusiastic about hitting the gym and the produce aisle?

Wishing for the planets and stars to align with a sign from above that this is, indeed, exactly THE RIGHT TIME to begin?

I have some bad news.

It ain't gonna happen.

Motivation is a myth. And inspiration isn't far behind.

Eating right and moving more is a decision. It's a decision you will probably have to make every day. Every meal. Hell, sometimes every 10 minutes, if it's the middle of the afternoon and someone has just delivered cupcakes to your office.

Boy, that sounds unsexy and completely cold, right?

The truth is that this whole thing takes a bit of effort. A bit of work. But the reason to do it is quite extraordinary. So if you need a magical, romantic, virtuous reason to begin, I can give you one.

You. You are the reason. You deserve to be healthy and happy. You deserve to feel good about yourself. You deserve a long life spent making memories with those you love.

Best of all, you are in charge. You and only you can make this decision for you. Stop blaming everyone and everything else. You are in charge of you.

And I am in charge of me. I needed this reminder myself today.

Push Ups Week 1

OK, CCland ... those of you who took the Push Up Challenge ... how are you doing?

These are my observations:

1. I'm actually on day 9, not day 6 because I started a few days early. But regardless, I am amazed at how quickly you get "better" at something like a push up. Do you get stronger? Yes. Does your body just figure out the coordination after repeating it so many times? Yes. Does your brain realize you CAN do something you thought you couldn't? Yes. And all three together means that it just gets easier.

(Grammar side note: Please, never say "irregardless." It's not a word.)

2. I am now doing four sets of 25, all on my toes. No more knees. I still do not do a military spec push up. My chest is not even close to the ground. I am sure, however, that my body is in good push up position. My butt is flat, even if my dips are not super low. They are lower than they were when I started, but they are not low.

3. I am sore in places I didn't expect. Of course my shoulders, chest, back, biceps, triceps hurt. I anticipated that. Surprisingly, my abs hurt. I can feel them pulling with every set. And the bases of my thumbs hurt. This one cracks me up. I'm guessing it's from the weight on my hands as they're fully taxed. We're also doing a lot of burpees in RIPPED and that might also contribute to this oddball thing.

What are you noticing? How is it going? Tell us!

Cheddar Meltdown

I think I have professed my love for McDonald's in these pages before.

I love cheeseburgers. I love Big Macs. I love french fries. I love hot apple pies.

(You can keep the McRib, though. Gross.)

And I love the Cheddar Melt most of all.

Or I did, I should say. Let me explain.

I had my nieces for a few days last week ... our last sleepover hurrah before the school year started. I'm not sure if you know this, but when you have children about, you must feed them every few hours. Like clockwork. It's exhausting staying on the feeding schedule! As such, we ended up eating on the run a few times.

(OK. We ate out like every single day. And one day we had movie popcorn, soda and Starburst for lunch. Don't tell their mother.) 

One day, long about noon give or take 90 minutes or so, the little ones say they're hungry.

"But I just fed you breakfast, like, 4 hours ago. You need sustenance so soon?" I ask.

They look up at me with hollowed out cheeks and nodded as their stomachs growled, as if on cue.

(Or something like that. I never said this blog was COMPLETELY factual.)

So we pull into Mickey D's to order for the older one, with the plan of going across the street to Taco Bell for the younger next.

(Of course, they can't agree on one fast food joint and of course Auntie Miss Daisy indulges them.)

At this point, I have a decision to make. Do I order the McD's I love ... Cheddar Melt is only here for a limited time and I've been dreaming of it! Or do I wait and pick something from the Fresco menu at Taco Bell which isn't great, but is better than lab-created cheese sauce on a fatty burger?

The argument in my head goes like this:

Limited time only! But you know it's crap.
It's so freaking good! But you know it's crap.
You haven't had one in years and you deserve it! But you know it's crap.
Yummy cheese sauce and grilled onions on a rye bun. But you know it's crap.
If you don't get it and eat it, you'll just get one later ... so get it over with. But you know it's crap.
Burger only ... no fries! But you know it's crap.

I'm trying very hard to remember the pink slime that makes up a McD's burger. I'm thinking of the sodium and corn syrup they add to make it taste good. I'm doing my best to gross myself out.

Then it's our turn. My voice at the drive through speaker does this:

"Six piece nugget meal with Diet Coke. (Pause.) ANDACHEDDARMELT!"

The car fills with the yummy smell of french fries and I start salivating when the aroma of the grilled onions hits my nostrils.

We quickly drive to Taco Bell, order and find seats. We unwrap all the bounty. I notice that the Cheddar Melt I was given doesn't exactly match the photos on the advertisements ... a small dollop of cheese sauce and a sparse sprinkling of onions in the very center of the burger. Nothing suggestively dripping over the sides like the glamour shots.

As with a fine wine, I close my eyes, savor a sniff and take a bite.

And it was kind of gross.

It tasted chemically. The texture of the burger was different than I remember. The cheese sauce wasn't as cheesy as it was in my dreams. It was super salty.

Waa waa waa.

I wanted to cry.

I think I've had McDonald's three times in the last year. And on every occasion, it didn't live up to my expectations. It just wasn't as good as I wanted it to be. But I blamed it on the fact that it wasn't piping hot or that I was at the airport or whatever.

Now, faced with the reality that my beloved Cheddar Melt really was not good, I have to wonder. Did they change? Or did I?

As with the end of any relationship, the fault probably lies with us both.

I think it's time for me to stop pining for the love that was. I'm calling it quits with McDonald's. We're over. Forever.

I'm sad. But I will be OK.

(Feel free to hum a little Neal Sedaka if you want. Cuz' breaking up really IS hard to doooooooo.) 

I will remember you fondly, but it's time for us to go our separate ways.