My friend HR Girl called today to talk about The Number.
She was worried, I think, that I was obsessing over something irrational.
And I'm not exactly obsessing, for the record. I'm more irritated with myself for just not getting there already.
She asked why The Number was important. Was it important that I hit the 100 mark because 100 has a nice ring to it? Was it important just because I had a number locked in my head? Or was it really the BMI thing?
The answer is that all of those things are true. I want to say I lost 100 pounds. I want to weigh a number I distinctly remember weighing (the number on my first driver's license), and I want my BMI to be in the dead center of normal.
But I also just want to finish the job I set out to do. I want to complete the project. I want to tie up the loose ends and be done with the "losing weight" phase and on to just living life again.
Or do I?
Maybe having those five more pounds to go is a GOOD thing.
Because if I have those five pounds to go, I can't stop doing what I'm doing. I have to get up every morning and hit the treadmill. I have to watch what I eat. I have to constantly monitor and balance what I put in my mouth and how much I move my ass.
Maybe those five pounds will keep me honest. And prevent me from slipping back into old habits and old jeans.
I like those five pounds more today than I did yesterday.
2 comments:
If you have maintained that weight
for such a long time, I think your body likes that weight. Heck if you can pack all that flab and saddlebags you talk about into a size 4 or 6 I would take it and run with it. Your driving me crazy. Enjoy what you have done.accept it and enjoy the new you.
I do run with it! And you're right.
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