I'm eating.
A lot.
There are times I feel positively possessed. Like I simply can't stop myself from feeding my face. As I'm shoveling it in, my logical brain is thinking about how I shouldn't be doing it. But there's some other part that keeps my hand moving to my mouth.
I like eating. I like everything about eating. I like the process of it ... making it, serving it, moving every bite to my tongue. I like the taste of it ... sweet, salty, spicy. I like the feel of it ... crunchy, smooth, hot, cold.
My defense against this behavior is exercise. As long as I'm moving my ass, I feel almost justified in consuming vast quantities of calories.
This morning I didn't work out. And today, I'm having an eating attack. Not a great combination.
As I eat, I feel such a mix of emotion. Shame, guilt, fear. They consume me.
I know it's an addiction. I know what I'm supposed to do to change the course. I also know how much I hate it. I hate that I have to deal with it. All. The. Damn. Time.
I want this to be easier.
2 comments:
http://greatist.com/health/superfood-almonds/
I thought of you when I saw this. Not sure if you're still searching for a peanut butter replacement but this is a recipe for homemade almond vanilla cinnamon butter.
That sounds good! I'm going to try it when my Skippy Natural Crunchy runs out! Thanks Amber! Have you ever made nut butter before?
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