My scale went to live in my basement workout room at one point during Girls Got Grit weigh-ins. And it never came back upstairs to my bathroom where it lived since the beginning of this whole weight loss thing.
Could I weigh myself downstairs? Well, of course I could. But the Optimal Weigh-In Conditions and Procedures I had established (always post sweaty a.m. workout, after emptying bladder et al, and completely naked ... you know, to weigh as absolutely little as possible), could not really be followed conveniently in the basement. So, I haven't been hopping on the scale.
Could I bring the scale upstairs, so that I COULD follow the Optimal Weigh-In Conditions and Procedures? Again, of course it's possible. But knowing that my clothes feel tight and I feel bloated, I have opportunistically forgotten to carry that bad boy to the master bathroom.
I know how ridiculous this is. I know how I'm sabotaging myself by NOT knowing my actual weight. I know I'm allowing my fear to control my behavior which is how I got to be 200+ pounds in the first place. I also know that I can't "fight" what I don't know.
And right now, I don't know how much I weigh.
So why don't I just carry the damn scale up 14 steps?
Fear and shame are strong emotions. They have power over logic and faith. They feed on insecurities and doubt.
And they grow.
Just when I think I have this whole thing figured out, I learn that I don't.
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