Size Doesn't Matter

I spent part of my day today trying on dresses and swimming suits. The idea was to 1) get some extra walking in and 2) sort of get started on vaca planning.

Here's what I learned:

It doesn't matter what size you are, you still look like hell in a fitting room mirror when trying on swimming suits.

I'm not sure what I was thinking, but I really believed trying on swimming suits would be FUN this year. Boy, was I wrong.

All I could see was the stuff I didn't like. Blobs of skin here. Lumps and bumps there. Sure, the blobs and lumps and bumps were DIFFERENT from the ones that were there last year. But they were still all I could see.

How irritating. And what a number that blasted reflection can do on your head.

Really? I worked so hard for so long and I still look this bad? What will it take to get where I like what I see? If I feel the same now as I did a year ago, what was the whole point? How do I get my head to catch up with my body?

But I learned something, too. There is no such thing as perfect. If I felt this way before and I feel this way now, 80 pounds later, I'm guessing most women feel the same way about their own bodies, no matter how big or small.

You are not alone.