Lighter in More Ways Than One

Yeah, I weigh less than I did a year ago. But something else changed along the way.

My attitude/outlook/mindset also shed some "ell bees."

I'm always a little surprised when I notice it. I catch myself being a little more outgoing. I laugh a little more, a little louder. I just feel better in my skin ... a little more like me.

I had forgotten what "me" was like. I'd spent a long time stuffing me down inside; covering me up with french fries, ice cream and soft, white, doughy bagels.

Here's an example: Today I ended up in the front row of a photo for an upcoming catalog. Now, mind you, I have worked at my job for 20 years and 1) never been asked to be in a photo and 2) never in a million years would have agreed to be in one had I been asked. And here I was, today, in the front row. (Front row because I was the shortest, but you get the point I'm trying to make.)

I spent years, literally and figuratively, trying to duck behind someone, anyone, to hide part of me if I absolutely couldn't avoid a photo altogether. My godchild Paige has a pile of photos of me making funny faces because I figured that since I knew the snapshot would look awful anyway, it was better to look stupid on purpose.

Which is why today was so odd. While I'm not exactly comfortable being out front, I could do it. I didn't panic. I could even enjoy it a little. (It helps that I was surrounded by the most beautiful team on the planet!)

I walk a little taller. I smile a little more. And I like it.