Who Wears Short Shorts?

C'mon ... nearly all of you are old enough to remember the TV commercial. Sing it with me!

Or don't. Regardless, I have come to the conclusion that I'm too old to wear short shorts. And it stinks.

I know this is probably not a surprise to anyone who knows me. At 43, my short shorts days have been gone for a long time.

But I tried a few on today just to see what they look like. You see, they don't make many short shorts in plus sizes. So since I'm able to get into them this year, I figured I'd give them a whirl.

And I learned two things:
1. There's nothing more pathetic than a 43-year-old woman trying to look young.
2. The wrinkly, sagging extra skin on my thighs isn't cute.

I'm irritated, too, that I wasted all those years when I COULD have been wearing short shorts. I should have been a force to be reckoned with in my 20s. Maybe even in my early 30s. But I let insecurity, laziness and fear hold me back. I let my head overpower my thighs.

Now my thighs have regained some control. Or just maybe my head changed. In any case, short shorts are out.

But they fit.