I'm out of practice. In every way.
And I need to snap the hell out of it.
My exercise is all out of whack as I try to figure out my capabilities and follow the new treatment plan. My eating is all out of whack as my head struggles to make sense of my new reality: up too many pounds and feeling helpless.
I'm not helpless.
I have to find new footing. And I'm struggling, perhaps like the rest of you.
So I'm sorry the posting has been sporadic and short. The truth is I'm not feeling very inspirational. I'm feeling defeated and full of failure. I'm not scared that this is the end and I'm going to get fat again. But I am trying to figure out what's going on in my head so I can learn something from the situation.
The bottom line is I don't feel good right now. I don't feel strong. I don't feel in control. I don't feel happy with myself and with my choices.
I miss feeling that way.
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