Fear is Paralyzing

It's been almost one year since I ran my half marathon. It's been almost five months since I ran at all. 

A year ago, my work situation was pretty secure. Irritating, but steady. Today they officially told us the future would change, quickly.  

Twelve months ago, I weighed 13 pounds less than I did this morning. 

I used to feel in control and strong. Today, not so much. 

It's hard for me to believe so much has changed in such a short time. 

A dear friend and her husband visited my house on Saturday and she brought me a gift. It was this photo. 

She asked me if I recognized it. I didn't. She said it was the bridge I ran over to start my 13.1 miles in La Crosse. She had gone to school there and this shot was taken for a photography course. 

"We were supposed to take a picture of something we were afraid of," she said. "It's for your workout room." 

How did she know to hit THAT nail on the THAT head? 

In my old life, I spent a lot of time being afraid of a lot of things. The one thing I was most afraid of was failing. I'm afraid of a few things again. I'm afraid that my knee isn't going to get better. I'm afraid that I will have to give up running altogether. I'm afraid that my career is about to take a turn. I'm afraid the weight won't come off ... or that it will increase. I'm afraid that I won't be strong and in control again. 

But now, every morning, I'm going to look at that bridge. And I'm going to remember that I DID run over it. And I kept going ... farther than I thought I could. I didn't run that far because I got lucky. I ran that far because I worked hard and I earned it.

Fear is paralyzing. And useless. It prevents you from trying. 

Trying puts you in control. You aren't guaranteed to succeed. But you're a step ahead of where you started. 

Thank you, my friend.