Can you believe this?
No cursing. Ever. My own potty mouth is woefully out of control and as the parent of a deaf kid, I never learned to watch my language appropriately. Turn my head, sure. Stop spewing vulgarities? Never.
Her rants are far more creative than mine because her vocabulary is bigger. And of course she sounds more sophisticated and intelligent than I do.
I've picked up one of her delightful phrases and adopted it as my own. Instead of the trashy teen girl sounding, "OMG," she uses the more gracious "OMW." As in, "Oh My Word!"
Isn't that lovely?
Those three letters were hanging in my brain as I set out on a bike ride tonight after work. However, I swapped out that W.
Oh, My WIND!
Holy Moses. Typhoon, anyone?
This was the first time I had taken my road bike out on the actual road. It took me a few minutes to get the hang of the gears (didn't use those much when the bike was in the trainer in the basement) and to get the feel for the narrower tires and lower handlebars.
Once I did, I headed uphill against the wind. It was an amazingly slow, hard climb. And it was nothing compared to the excitement as I turned the corner into a cross-wind.
I literally had to lean my bike into the gusts ... like this:
As I said, Oh. My. Wind!
The worst part was when a car or truck came from behind me to pass. First of all, with all the whooshing through my helmet, it's hard to hear the cars coming. And secondly, the crosswind makes me wobbly and not everyone gives enough room as they go by. In hindsight, it was actually kind of scary and probably not the safest trip I've ever made.
And, to the motorcycle idiot who decided to pass a farm implement, riding smack dab head on toward me, in my lane, and smiling as I took to the gravel shoulder to get far enough away from you:
"You cock-a-doodle-do, brother-trucking, bass foal! I'm glad you thought it was funny to drive me off the road at 55 mph. Clucking hysterical, you fun of a witch."
See, I can watch my tongue when I try.
No comments:
Post a Comment