Just in case you think this is "easy" now that the bulk of my pounds are behind me ...
I'm really struggling right now. I'm not eating well. I'm cutting corners on my workouts. I'm justifying the cheats I put in my mouth and the cheats I take in my exercise room. I've convinced myself that I'm too tired or too overwhelmed or too stressed out to deliver a good performance. I've chosen to not weigh myself because I know the scale is going to be up.
In other words, I'm totally psyching myself out.
I ran almost 8 miles on Sunday. It was freezing cold and really windy. It was a genuinely tough run. So I know I CAN do it. But today, I barely managed 2 miles in a row before I took a quarter-mile walk break. I let my head convince the rest of me that the run/walk/run pattern was OK.
I could have done better.
I'm afraid these head games will turn into a spiral that will lead me back to bad habits. And we all know that bad habits lead to bigger pants.
I have got to get out of this mindset. This whole weight loss/weight management thing is a mental challenge before it is anything else. The choices you make ... what you eat and how much you work out ... are conscious decisions that happen every minute of every day. Your brain has the ability to get you up and over any literal or metaphorical hill. And it also has the ability to sabotage any and all efforts.
I know that diligent work and good decisions will lead me out of this current battle with my head. I'm a little irritated that I still have to think about it all so much. I want it to get easy. Or at least easier.
And then I remind myself ... this is easier than feeling the way I used to feel. But it's probably never going to be easy.
Oh, and ultimately, being healthy is worth the work I put in. Period.
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